Post by Morreion on Mar 24, 2009 21:31:05 GMT -5
Norland rubbed his face in hopes of clearing his thoughts. The words “elven beauty” were often thrown about when describing elves, he thought they were elegant, intelligent and kind but not beautiful. Lady Vanya, at least that was the name on the order, was radiant. The air around her shimmered like the heat off the desert sand; his lungs on fire, Norland took a ragged breath. Had he been holding his breath? He wasn’t sure.
She stopped at the bookcase to have a look. Aqshy Winds, The Fire Within, Combustion!, oh the library of a wizard wasn’t very interesting she gathered. She pulled out a thin, well-worn volume and opened it. Poems. She frowned. Maybe all wizards weren’t the same.
He picked up a few items from the market square before starting out, bread and cheese. He passed over the wine and left the market, but doubled back for some flowers. He wasn’t sure how to say “I’m sorry our drink was interrupted by the attacking horde and I fell asleep and left you alone,” but he figured this was a good start.
Oatik turned off the main road following the directions Melkin gave him. He carried the flowers, cheese and bread from the market under his arm. The sun was up and warmed his face. He smiled as he thought about her and chuckled to himself at the hold she had over him already. He’d poked fun at plenty of men in his condition, he realized now they didn’t care what he thought about them, only what she thought.
She stopped at the bookcase to have a look. Aqshy Winds, The Fire Within, Combustion!, oh the library of a wizard wasn’t very interesting she gathered. She pulled out a thin, well-worn volume and opened it. Poems. She frowned. Maybe all wizards weren’t the same.
He picked up a few items from the market square before starting out, bread and cheese. He passed over the wine and left the market, but doubled back for some flowers. He wasn’t sure how to say “I’m sorry our drink was interrupted by the attacking horde and I fell asleep and left you alone,” but he figured this was a good start.
Oatik turned off the main road following the directions Melkin gave him. He carried the flowers, cheese and bread from the market under his arm. The sun was up and warmed his face. He smiled as he thought about her and chuckled to himself at the hold she had over him already. He’d poked fun at plenty of men in his condition, he realized now they didn’t care what he thought about them, only what she thought.
Some good writing there Oat! You're fleshing out the story quite nicely. A lot of character resides in the little details that you're throwing in. Keep it up, it gets better as it goes along!
