Post by Morreion on Jan 29, 2009 21:17:45 GMT -5
Oat, of all your story chapters so far, Melkin is my favorite. You gave Melkin's character an inner voice and you described her circumstances very well. I felt that I had a nice miniature portrait of the character wrapped up in that one chapter. There was a full background I could draw upon.
When you write about Oatik, it's more about describing action. Perhaps a Melkin-like approach to him, with more of an inner voice, may flesh him out? I know your first chapter did that, so maybe it's more of a consequence of reading the separate chapters over many days as opposed to reading them all together so that it would flow more.
In my opinion, I think you found a very good voice when you wrote Melkin. I'd like to see you build off of that approach!
When you write about Oatik, it's more about describing action. Perhaps a Melkin-like approach to him, with more of an inner voice, may flesh him out? I know your first chapter did that, so maybe it's more of a consequence of reading the separate chapters over many days as opposed to reading them all together so that it would flow more.
In my opinion, I think you found a very good voice when you wrote Melkin. I'd like to see you build off of that approach!
